There are two different views on Thanksgiving:

1. Thanksgiving is a wonderful day to celebrate family, tradition, and blessings.

Or…

2. Thanksgiving is an all-you-can-eat buffet of fat-laden foods that will leave you with indigestion and guilt.

Number 2 is clearly a recipe for disaster. I’m guessing it might look familiar to many of you. So many people dread the holidays for exactly that reason. Who wants to be left feeling guilty or like a failure? What happened to the “happy” in Happy Thanksgiving? Why put yourself through it?

Why not change it?

Thanksgiving is the kick-off of the “holiday season”. These many weeks can be a steady IV drip of stress for many people for many reasons. Dieters view the holidays as a constant test of their willpower and resistance. Overeaters dread this season like many women dread childbirth. It is too long and too painful. Every event is another ordeal of temptation and anxiety.

Can we reduce the stress level enough to reconnect to the joyful and meaningful parts of this annual autumn holiday?

This November could be your first Thanksgiving of true joy. You could commit to take care of yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. You could strive for moderation and you could strive to be calm. 2009 could mark the beginning of loving you enough to protect yourself from anxiety. You could care enough to arm yourself from the abundant temptations all around. You could hold your head high with confidence.

Are you with me?

My tips for dealing with the stresses of Thanksgiving for the dieter are both conventional and non-conventional. The main points are simple:

Make a game plan, control your portions, and stay active.

That can be really easy if you actually do it. Let’s explore specifically what I mean:

Making a game plan means being prepared. I will assume you’ve been to many Thanksgiving celebrations, and have pretty much got the drill down. You know what will be there, (food, smells, people, noise, and more food), and you know how you typically respond to the day.

By thinking this through ahead of time, you know what you are up against, and have time to reshape your next experience.

Remember: It is only a day, only one meal.

That bears repeating:

Remember: It is only a day, only one meal .

Close your eyes and imagine the day. Decide what you want to happen, and how you want to feel. If your choice is to splurge, then enjoy it. If indulging would only make you feel badly or guilty, DON’T. Choose and stick to the choice and feel good about it. No wavering.

Give yourself quiet time to make the change. Changing a pattern takes time. Not many people practice being calm. It is an incomparable gift you can give yourself.

A mantra is a phrase said over and over again to reinforce your wish and make it your belief. You can manifest change with your belief system. A mantra can be used while sitting quietly in meditation, or you can pound it out while taking a run. Sing it in the shower. There are no rules or right way to make it work.

Try these mantras on for size:

“I can love and take care of my body.”

Or…

“ I will not hurt myself with food.”

Or…

“I choose to not let food control my life. I am more powerful than food.”

Adapt any of these, or create your own that feels right to you. Make time to repeat your mantra. Write it on little stick-it notes and post them around your house. Say it enough to believe it and for it to calm you. Say it every day, not just on Thanksgiving. Soak it in. Embrace it.

If the meal is at your home, you have a lot more freedom to decide how the meal is prepared. I’m sure you already know how to substitute light or fat free items, and you can prepare some things specifically to suit your needs. If you go to some else’s house, offer to bring one dish, and make it something that will please you all around. No one needs all the fat – they’ll probably thank you if you tell them.

Preselect exactly what and how much you will eat and drink. Try to prioritize the foods, and choose your three favorites. See them on your plate, and imagine how good they will be. Perhaps turkey, stuffing, and yams are your “must haves”. By omitting gravy, or any kind of casserole, you have cut your fat and calories way down. Skip the rolls. They’re empty calories and search for butter or something greasy to soak up. If you choose your true favorites, you shouldn’t feel deprived. Even vegetables can be cooked in butter, so choose honestly. Don’t forgo a “forbidden food” if it’s what makes you happy.

There will be no procrastination when you get to the table. It is only one meal, and there will be others. This is what you have chosen for yourself for this meal. Stick to the plan. Stick to your vision. Again, no wavering. You’re in control.

Don’t go to dinner ravenous. That’s a set-up to overeat and make bad decisions. Eat healthy, nourishing, food beforehand – enough to keep you satisfied until you get to the table.

Before the main meal, do not touch any appetizers. No dip, no nuts, no cheese, no candy. Stay away from them. Don’t lose control this early in the game. Stick to the plan.

As for alcohol, use your best judgment. Alcohol stimulates your appetite, lowers your resistance, and adds calories. Be the designated driver and drink seltzer or water. Those will fill you up, and keep you in control.

Control your portions. The protein (turkey) is what will sate your hunger. Go for white meat (half the fat!) and absolutely no skin. I’m sure you know the “size of your fist” rule, but it’s okay to increase that a bit if it keeps you away from the green bean casserole.

Your other two portions should be fair and reasonable. They don’t have to be “just a taste”, but shouldn’t be any amount that will overwhelm you when you’re done. Go in knowing that you will have absolutely, positively no seconds. Again, no wavering – no seconds. Enjoy what you planned for, and be done. This is not your last meal. We’re shooting for zero guilt.

EAT SLOWLY. Talk to people and take your time. Enjoy your food and the people you’re with. I’m not an advocate of putting your fork down between every single bite, but do remember to breathe.

As for dessert, consider asking to take it home for later when you’re not full. If dessert is a priority for you, eat less at dinner, and budget for dessert. It’s your plan. It has to suit you.

Exercise before the dinner, and bank calories. The day will be easier after some form of exercise. It will both energize and relax you. After the Thanksgiving meal, get people to move. Make it a group activity. Go for a walk. Play football. Dance. Play a game. What you do doesn’t matter. Get up and away from the food. Exercise will always help you maintain a sense of control.

Hold on to your mantra, hold on to your plan, and hold onto your own hand. Be thankful to have yourself as an amazing support system.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Copyright 2009 Judith Bingyou, M. Ed. All rights reserved. Reprinted with permission.

Judith Bingyou, M.Ed. provides psychotherapy and counseling services, specializing in weight management and body image. For 28 years, Judith has helped clients gain control of their weight, and their lives. She can be reached at mailto:judith@jbingyou.com.