DOES FOOD CONTROL YOUR LIFE?

According to the Journal of the American Dietetic Association, those who “own” their power to control what they eat, lose more weight than those who don’t.

This is wonderful documentation of my belief system about weight management. Lasting weight loss is a state of mind, a commitment, and an attitude, not just a reduction of calories.

You must regain control of your life including your eating. It is your option to understand and change your relationship to food. This is a prerequisite for real weight loss. Do not give the power to anything or anyone outside of yourself. No excuses. You eat what you choose, and you choose what you eat.

No outside source can claim power over your eating. It doesn’t matter if it’s tempting food at a party or a friend coaxing you to “be bad” with her. You have to take full responsibility of what is put into your mouth. The size of your body is your choice. Genetics may have predisposed you to be heavier, and that makes it more difficult. Not impossible.

That may sound harsh, but it’s a truth you must accept before you can really commit to a weight loss program. You must command the ultimate power, and be the ultimate decision maker. This power cannot be shared with your husband, your kids, your friends, your co-workers, nor all the tempting foods displayed all around you. You alone must decide what is best for you. Others can guide and support you – those people can be a blessing. But you must be the rock. You are worth being a rock for.

The stronger you are in your mission statement and your game plan, the more success you will have. You can start by envisioning yourself as who you want to be. Think beyond a celebrity – they are airbrushed and have three hours of hair and makeup and stylists a day. Really see you, and who you could be. Write down the things you like about you on a sheet of paper. If you can draw the image, do so. Be sure that this image you see is attainable. Don’t lose yourself. Tweak your self into the best you imaginable.

Next, set a reasonable plan to reach your goal, including a healthy diet, exercise, relaxation, and rest. You will need to look at your relationship to food to change it. When do you overeat, or eat emotionally? What triggers it? Why does food comfort you and what else could you do to fill those needs at those times without overeating?

Lastly, shoot for realistic goals in short amounts of time, not just the HUGE ultimate goal. “I want to lose 100 pounds” may be what you really want, but is rather grandiose to start out with. It is overwhelming and can feel unattainable. How about losing 10 pounds in the next ten weeks? That is more manageable and more believable. Keep it small. Keep it realistic. Set yourself up for success.

Remember, you are going after lifetime healthy changes, not a quick fix. Think of all the “quick fixes” that ended up backfiring with an extra 10 pounds after you worked so hard to stick to that tortuous diet. This time’s for keeps. You must own the commitment to better your life, and you must live it forever. Every day counts. You brush your teeth so they don’t fall out. Now you think about what you ingest to allow you to have the body you want to live in.

It’s been said that there is no such thing as will power. There is only want power. You have to want to be thin and healthy more than you want to eat a Big Mac and fries. You have to want to walk for a half hour more than you want to sit and watch TV. You will choose to make changes that will brighten your life, and ultimately, lead you to your goals.

YOU MUST CHOOSE once and for all – end the yo-yo cycle forever.

Choose to improve your health and your life may mean you still occasionally succumb to temptation. That is human and not catastrophic. Seeing it that way gives you an excuse to give up. Understand that life changes are not a one- way street and that setbacks are part of anything difficult. They are a part of succeeding if you “get back on the bike” and support yourself back on the right road. Don’t waver between success and failure as though they are black and white. There is grey area that is livable. You will have stronger days and tougher days, but your attitude to succeed must never waver. The commitment to your health must never waver. One day at a time.

Are you a fighter with vision for a better life, or a victim? You have to think seriously about this question. Fighting is a lot harder. It’s a lot riskier. Being a victim is being powerless, and being powerless is passive. Being powerless is pretty easy. Blaming others or external factors is effortless. You may even believe it. But, think about it, where does that get you?

Spend the time to think this through. Perhaps journal what you see your life as now, and what it could be with better self-care. This care includes diet, exercise, meditation, and rest. If you can imagine what your life could be like, try to go with it. What would you do that you can’t or don’t do now? Who would you call? What would you wear? What activity might you participate in that you can’t or don’t do now? How would you carry yourself differently?

If you can journal, draw, cut photos or magazine pictures out that inspire you, fantastic. Put them into a collage, or simply tape them up on a wall or your fridge. “THE NEW ME”, or “ME, ONLY BETTER”, of “ME LOVING ME”.

Internally, come up with new empowering mantras, such as “I no longer have the need to suffer”, or “I choose to be free of past negativity”. The words have to move and inspire you, and that’s all that matters. Say them, sing them, pray then, chant them. Write them in on papers all around you. Let them seep in. They will. That’s the job of a mantra. Our belief systems grow out of our experiences. Change your experiences. Shape your own belief systems about yourself in the present. The past is gone, and letting go of that is an empowering act. The future is yours to shape.

So stop belittling yourself for all the pounds lost and gained, and rejoice your choice to change. MAKE THE CHOICE TODAY. It’s 2010.

Happy, Healthy New Year.

Copyright 2009 Judith Bingyou, M. Ed. All rights reserved. Used with permission.

Judith Bingyou, M.Ed. provides psychotherapy and counseling services, specializing in weight management and body image. For 28 years, Judith has helped clients gain control of their weight, and their lives. She can be reached at Judith@jbingyou.com.